marriage | Straightspeak

Men on top? Women on top? What’s up with work, marriage, love and sex?

By DHughes|2016-12-10T00:41:00-05:00March 14th, 2013|Categories: business, social|Tags: Hanna Rosin, Love, Marina Adshade, marriage, men, Michael Kimmel, sex, Sheryl Sandberg, Women|

Keeping it up at both ends is not easy when you both work and it's damn near impossible when there are kids. Who wrote the book of love? Well there's a bunch of them Everybody, including the neighbor, has an opinion on how to find a balance between office and home, career and family, money and kids, love Read more...

The View: Where marriage is a trivial pursuit

By DHughes|2016-12-10T00:41:29-05:00January 6th, 2012|Categories: social|Tags: Elizabeth, Joy, marriage, sex, Sherri, The View, Whoopi|

In just two minutes, Whoopi, Joy, Sherri and Elizabeth manage to trivialize, minimize, debase and insult marriage and sex. We all know that dumb-downed TV almost always ups the ratings, so to hell with helping viewers who might be trying to better understand how to improve their marriage and sex life. Let’s just feed them some sound byte Read more...

My personal history is the stuff they write books about. And that's what I am doing. The working title "Five Generations to Freedom."

It's historical fiction because, unfortunately, I can not find enough records to substantiate all facets of the story. I've combed the genealogy, traveled to my father and grandmothers' birthplace, walked the graveyards, searched the churches and ... well, the facts just aren't there. I have written three books based on other families and their genealogy but my ancestors emerged from a journey that left few records – slavery.

My great grandmother, on my father's side, was a "freed slave." My grandmother, Amelia, was born to a white, French plantation owner in Grenada and a black slave named Mary, who worked on the Count de Poulain's plantation. Amelia was raised in her father's home and in adulthood, in an attempt to escape her black heritage, she "disowned" her mother Mary. Once, when Mary visited her daughter, Amelia told her, "Get out and never come back." And Amelia, as a mother herself (twelve children), told all of them, "Marry white." And many did, including my father. My mother was white Anglo-Saxon protestant born in England. They met in Canada where dad became a doctor.

It has taken five generations for the descendants of Mary (we do not know her last name) to free themselves from the bondage and stigma of their black heritage. But today, my children embrace it and are damn proud of it. Unfortunately, the 150 years in between has been a wasteland of bigotry, racism and bullying, Filled with anger, rejection, shame, fear, violence, murder and ... love, romance, kindness, perseverance and pride.