Marriage and sex counselors? Who you gonna call? (photo courtesy

In just two minutes, Whoopi, Joy, Sherri and Elizabeth manage to trivialize, minimize, debase and insult marriage and sex.

We all know that dumb-downed TV almost always ups the ratings, so to hell with helping viewers who might be trying to better understand how to improve their marriage and sex life. Let’s just feed them some sound byte quickies.

Not sure it's a good read. Unless you're a desperate housewife.

If you want to hear a decent discussion on the new book, The Secret Lives of Wives: Women share what it really takes to stay married, DON’T watch this two-minute clip (below) from The View. Not sure the book is much better. But if you want to hear married women lower the bar for how to keep the “spice” in marriage, then watch it. Maybe you’ll get mad or feel sick. You certainly won’t learn anything.

Joy says: “ … flirt with a guy at the office … to get yourself juiced up, ya’ know what I mean” (no, I don’t). “… and then go home and do it with your husband …” Then she asks, “What’s wrong with that?” Do you fecken’ believe it (DYFBI)?

Elizabeth: The smartest thing she says is, “I don’t know.” She should have stopped there. But no, she keeps yakking, talking of “romantic moments.” She says, “Those moments are basically dead until our kids are in college or high school.” So, if I understand her (not easy), she’s saying we should put the most fundamental and needed aspects of our marriage –affection, attention, companionship, sex – on hold for 12-18 years. She goes on to say (speaking of her marriage and to her husband), “If we’ve got three minutes, let’s go.” She adds, “You just need a minute here, a minute there, seven minutes there …” Yikes! Sounds like love, sex and marriage in the “quickie lane.”

Sherri then chimes in and says, “ … when we went to a marriage counselor he advised that we make a date to have sex.” Yeah, that’s really helpful, insights from people who have consulted a marriage counselor. If you need a marriage counselor, you really shouldn’t be talking about marriage on national TV. Unless of course, it’s a joke and you don’t take it seriously. Actually, it sounds like these ladies think marriage and sex is a joke. Or a fantasy you bring home from the office. Or a two-minute drill, like in football. Or an 18 year ordeal. Thank god they stopped talking after two minutes.