Oscars and Hollywood ask Obama for sanctions on Bordeaux wines
84 years old and boring
20 years old and the Oscar of wines
How irrelevant can it get?
Where have all our winners gone?
Is Tiger switching from golf to Navy Seals to get back to winning? (photo: getty)
Is George going to quit "talk movies" and go back to silent, black and white movies? (photo: myspace.com)
If George Clooney can’t beat some French guy whose name we can’t pronounce, and Meryl Streep can only go 3 for 17 (while playing a foreigner), how the hell can America expect to win at anything? Hell, we lost in Iraq; we’re losing in Afghanistan; the GOP has the biggest slate of losers ever; Obama can’t win over Netenyahu; Fannie Mae is still losing billions; Tiger Woods can’t seem to win much anymore; and Rick Santorum, despite praying for divine intervention, continues to be a lost cause.
Even Billy Crystal couldn’t save this year’s Oscars. Geez, after 84 years you’d think they could do something other than retread the same old, same old. Of course, that’s what they do with the movies they make too, retread hundreds of old ideas (silent movies) and once in a while come up with a new idea. Then, in a once-a-year flurry of self-aggrandizement they get on TV and, as Billy Crystal said, “ … have a bunch of millionaires give other millionaires some gold.” Old, boring and irrelevant. Meryl Streep’s acceptance comment was more accurate then she probably realized. She said, “When they announced I’d won, I had this feeling that I could hear half of America going, oh no … come on, why her again.…” First, it was a lot more than half of America, and secondly, that is the way millions feel about the Oscars after 84 years: “Oh no … come on, not this again.”
Look Ma, I won without Affirmative Action
Look Ma, I almost won with my own hair!
Look Ma, my nipple almost won!
Two good things. Octavia Spencer won: One more small step for acting; one more small step for blacks – without affirmative action. Second: On The View they mentioned that Viola Davis “… wore the hair the lord gave her.” Wow, someone – other than Jennifer Lopez – has the guts to go au naturel in Hollywood. They added, “and this might start a trend.” Are you kidding? Natural hair – natural anything – in Hollywood? That’s like expecting the French to shut up … now there’s a new idea. That silent movie thing did have one benefit: on The View Barbara Walters mimicked the film and spoke for 30 seconds without a word coming out of her mouth. Now that’s a trend we’d like to see continue. Oh, one other thing, which I am sure is part of the marketing and special effects of the Oscars: Jennifer Lopez’s nipple (actually her areola): Was it showing, was it not? Who knows? Who cares? But it upped the hits on the web by a few million. If you want to answer the skill testing question: Is it or isn’t it? just click Nipple Test here? Or not.
Joy Behar on The View said about the Oscars, “We need the fantasy.” Do you fecken’ believe it (DYFBI)? No! we don’t need the fantasy, most of us need a job. Aaaah the relevance of the Oscars and Hollywood.
